Live Event! Being the Best You! by Dan Lier Session

Dan challenged the audience to reduce our recovery time. Make recovery time shorter rather than longer. For instance, he said that grief comes to each of us, and we should mourn appropriately. But, if after 20 years we are mourning the same way as Day One, we’ve lengthened our recovery time. We need to grieve and face difficulty with an appropriate recovery time to the situation.

Dan continued his attack on doubt, negativity and low self-esteem. He moved on to the topic of interpretation of events and the power of questions.

Events happen in life and when they do, they cause disappointed expectations. No one is immune. Here is what happens to most people:

1. Things happen. That event took place. (fact).
2. We make the event mean something.
3. We create a “story.”
4. And we live our lives as though that story is true. 

Example:

Story: I’m not good enough, a coaching client tells Dan.

What happened: she got a divorce.

Interpretation causes us to elevate or disintegrate.

Key: get what happened and get rid of the story.

Our brains are like big fancy computers. They play things over and over like a broken record. When we ask ourselves questions in our heads, our minds immediately begin to sift through our past to answer the questions. The way we ask ourselves questions can either hurt us or help us.

“Why” questions led to negative answers. “Why did I do that?” “Why doesn’t she like me?”

“How” or “What” questions become positive. “How can I do better next time?” “What can I do to grow?” These question types cause you to think in a direction of growth.

Meaning is conditioned by our culture. When we self-talk (and we all do, all the time!) we find that:

Thoughts beget behavior begets consequences

We need to create a new meaning for failure. There is no such thing as failure, there are only results. Just as many people will be upset if you win as if you lose – so just go for it!

Most people are so afraid to fail they are paralyzed into mediocrity. If you don’t give it a short, you won’t be good enough.

Dan said the best piece of advice he ever received was this:

That’s the only way to learn as much as you can and become better.

Dan advised us to make this a learning month.

He said to remember that rejection is not personal.

The ability to be happy is:

50% genetics

10% life circumstances

40% learned (outlook, thoughts, focus)

Mistakes happen to everyone. Tomorrow will be better. Tell yourself when you make a mistake:

Dan said to have a mantra, such as this one: “I can do anything I am committed to doing.”

Dan’s keynote really spoke a huge message to me, especially the section about overcoming failure and rejection. He challenged me to see myself differently than the events in my life or the labels pressed upon me, and to accurately assess truth by asking myself “what” and “how” questions, not “why” questions. As a result, I’ve behaved differently and had a  sincere mind shift ever since. I’ve changed my internal environment, thought culture and altered my mindset by keeping the event and dropping the story.

Dan received a standing O when he finished speaking. Everyone was electrified by his rousing speech and the motivation for improvement it created within each listener. He was a true catalyst for growth and change.

Dan Lier, let me say once more that you ROCK. Thank you!